Female masturbation & the orgasm gap

Masturbation is a completely normal and healthy way to connect with your body and experience pleasure, however, I’ve noticed stigma around female masturbation. Female sexual pleasure in general does not seem to be as much of a priority as male sexual pleasure. Research has demonstrated that there is an orgasm gap where 95% of heterosexual males in relationships will orgasm during sex while only 65% of heterosexual women in relationships will orgasm during sex (Findlay, 2019). This is reflected in porn where videos often focus explicitly on male sexual pleasure and orgasm.

Similarly, male masturbation is largely accepted and spoken about around mates whereas female masturbation is often kept a secret and not widely accepted. Speaking to males the same age as me, they have shared that they used to tell their mates “after school, I’ll go home, have a wank and then jump on the Xbox.”

As a young female who attended a private, all girls catholic school, masturbation was not talked about. In fact, if it was discussed, it was shunned. Judgement was heaped on girls who spoke about masturbation.

Female influencers such as Abbie Chatfield have begun breaking down the stigma surrounding female masturbation and talking openly about female pleasure, which is normalising these conversations for women.

Masturbation is very healthy. It relieves stress, it allows individuals to reconnect with their bodies, and it can increase sexual self-esteem. People of all genders have the right to enjoy the benefits of masturbation, if they choose to.

School-based sex ed rarely teaches young people about female anatomy and pleasure, so many young women don’t know how to masturbate. It can be really helpful to know of reliable educational resources for learning more about masturbation and female sexual pleasure.

Here are two we highly recommend:

• OMGYES is an honest, informative, research-based approach to women's sexual pleasure: https://start.omgyes.com/join

• Betty Dodson & Carlin Ross recognised that all women lack basic information about their bodies and the female model of sexual response. So for decades they have been providing women with the knowledge and tools to promote self love and independent orgasm. All of their content is based on user-submitted questions collected over several decades. https://www.dodsonandross.com