Heterosexual anal sex: Let’s talk about it!
Anal sex is increasingly prevalent among heterosexual young people. A national British survey found that almost one in five 16-24 year olds reported having had anal sex in the past 12 months (Mercer et al, 2013). Studies in the USA suggest more than 75% of adolescents and adults have had male-female penile-anal intercourse (Habel et al, 2018) with one US study reporting approximately 40% of heterosexual women engage in anal sex at some point (McBride, 2019).
However in research interviews with heterosexual young people, both the males and the females rarely speak of heterosexual anal sex as being a mutually pleasurable sexual experience (Marston & Lewis, 2014). So, why are so many heterosexual young people having it? Research attributes the increased engagement in anal sex to be a direct result of the influence of mainstream pornography.
A UK study interviewed 130 young men and women, aged 16-18, asking them about their experiences of heterosexual anal sex (Marston & Lewis, 2014). Here’s what some of the young men had to say:
“I thought it was going to be a lot better to be honest”
“Sometimes it does feel better [than vaginal sex] but I wouldn’t say I preferred it”
“I think that the boy enjoys it. I think it’s definitely the boy that pushes for it from watching porn and stuff, they wanna try it. The girl is scared and thinks it’s weird, and then they try it because the boyfriend wants them to. They normally don’t enjoy it because they’re scared and I, I know that like with anal, if you’re not willing, you don’t relax.”
The study found a normalisation of coercive heterosexual anal sex amongst the interviewees, a practice that both the young men and the young women said they expected to be pleasurable for the male but painful for the female. Some of the young women interviewed reported painful experiences of anal sex:
“As soon as the whole incident happened where he didn’t warn me it just hurt. It was just pain [laugh]. It was just like: no. No one could possibly enjoy that. It was just horrible [...] I guess he could have used lube, maybe that would have helped, but I don’t know. Apparently if you’re tense it hurts more, I guess, which makes sense really, but I don’t see how you couldn’t be tense [laugh] in that kind of situation.”
The study found that often the young people’s experiences of anal sex involved the male partner pressuring or coercing the female partner to participate. In fact, both the young men and the young women said that they expected young men to pressure or coerce a reluctant female partner to engage in anal sex; a practice that the young men said they wanted to do because they had seen it in porn.
In another more recent study (Hirst et al, 2022) based on interviews with young people, participants cited similar motivations for engaging in heterosexual anal sex:
“That’s what my boyfriend is expecting me to do next—we’ve done vaginal sex, so anal sex and oral sex, that’s the next thing. I’ve seen it on porn, so that’s the next stage.”
“I think sometimes, if the guy sees porn, sees anal sex, he’s like, ‘I want to try that’. One of his mates has tried it [so] ‘Let’s do this’. She doesn’t feel that comfortable with it, but because she’s in this new relationship it’s like, ‘I want to please you’.”
This research highlights the potential danger of pornography’s influence for young people’s sexual practices. Despite the more common experience of anal sex being that it is painful for females, pornography most often depicts the opposite. This misrepresentation may be a contributing factor for heterosexual males both assuming their female partners to find anal sex pleasurable, and pressuring their female partners to engage in anal sex.
Despite the increasing prevalence of young people engaging in anal sex, it is not spoken of in formal sex education programs. In recent research (Hirst et al, 2022), a sexual health professional spoke of the implications of not addressing anal sex as part of sex education programs:
“I’ve had some really disturbing consultations, [with] 18 and 19-year-old boys where they’re like ‘So, I can’t just literally take it from the vagina and then just put it up her bum?’ I was like ‘No. Not without asking’.”
For sex education programs to have an impact and promote safe, pleasurable and respectful sexual relationships, it’s crucial that they are relevant to young people’s lived experiences of sex and relationships. This means engaging with the reality of pornography’s influence for young people’s sexual practices, and making sure that sex and consent education is applicable to a diverse array of sexual relationships and practices – including anal sex.
For tips on how to practice heterosexual anal sex safely – check out the following articles:
References
Habel, M. A., J. S. Leichliter, P. J. Dittus, I. H.Spicknall, and S. O. Aral. 2018. “Heterosexual Anal and Oral Sex in Adolescents and Adults in the United States, 2011–2015.” Sexually Transmitted Diseases 45 (12):775–782.
Julia Hirst, James Pickles, Megan Kenny, Ruth Beresford & Chloe Froggatt (2022) A qualitative exploration of perceptions of anal sex: implications for sex education and sexual health services in England, Culture, Health & Sexuality, DOI:10.1080/13691058.2022.2037020https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13691058.2022.2037020
Marston C, Lewis R. Anal heterosex among young people and implications for health promotion: a qualitative study in the UK. BMJ Open 2014;4:e004996. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2014- 004996 https://asset-pdf.scinapse.io/prod/2162581747/2162581747.pdf
McBride, K. R. 2019. “Heterosexual Women's Anal Sex Attitudes and Motivations: A Focus Group Study.” Journal of Sex Research 56 (3):367–377.
Mercer CH, Tanton C, Prah P, et al. Changes in sexual attitudes and lifestyles in Britain through the life course and over time: findings from the National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal). Lancet 2013;382:1781–94
